OK so Christmas is over. New years is gone. My birthday has been here. NOW it’s time to start 2019! Lol
We are 12 days in and here’s where I’m at. It’s been a rough road the past 13 days by the way. ( That’s not a typo, it’s been a rough 13 days!)
2019 was going to be a year of inclusion but only to the ones that want to include me. I’m not going to worry about who did and who didn’t. I’m going to include myself and anyone else that sees me for me. I’m not going to look for inclusion and I’m 90% certain that everyone I know, right now, will not include me. I’m OK with that. I’m sitting at a bar right now having a drink with myself and I’m realizing that I’m actually ok.
I know who I want to include and I actually feel very strong about it. The person on top of my list is currently deciding my fate right now and I don’t know why or what’s being put into the decision but I know I won’t put myself in that position again. The position for someone else to decide for me and without me.
I can tell you the the 2nd person on my list is my mother. I love her to death and always will no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT! But she definitely had a chance to choose me and made it clear that she couldn’t. Being honest, I’m OK with it because at least I know where things stand. If things change anytime in the future, I’ll be open and willing to accept that but as for now, here I sit.
Let’s talk about my dad. Much to my disbelief, my dad has been awesome. He’s been through about 3 years worth of life in the last year but he’s been awesome. I love my dad and I know my dad loves me. He tries and he makes it obvious that he wants to try. Whether he agrees with me or not on things going on right now, it’s very clear that he will choose me in any event. I mean, in the middle of a very emotional conversation that I wanted to have, he stopped me and apologized to me for his actions…his actions! Those had nothing to do with what I was wanting to talk about. I love my dad!
OK so here’s the skinny. I’m gonna make sure I do me. I’m gonna include those that makes it clear that they choose me. If you’re reading this and you know who I am, don’t feel bad for me, I’m OK.
As always, I’m a talker by nature. Send me a message and let’s talk about things.